Common Myths About Couples Therapy and Marriage Counselling

Couples therapy and marriage counselling are often misunderstood. Many people hesitate to seek help because of lingering myths, ideas that therapy is only for failing relationships, that a therapist will take sides, or that going means something is wrong. In reality, couples therapy can be a proactive and supportive space for growth, whether you're facing challenges or simply wanting to strengthen your connection.

This article explores some of the most common myths about couples therapy and marriage counselling, particularly from an existential perspective. By addressing these misconceptions, we hope to offer clarity and encourage more couples to consider therapy as a step toward deeper understanding, not just a last resort.

If you're wondering whether couples therapy might be helpful, you’re not alone. Let’s explore the realities behind the most persistent myths, and open up space for reflection, support, and connection.

Myth 1: “Therapy is only for couples on the brink of divorce.”

Reframing Therapy

One of the most pervasive myths about couples therapy is that it's solely for couples on the verge of separation. In reality, therapy is a proactive tool that can strengthen a relationship at any stage. Therapy may serve as a compass, guiding couples through communication and nurturing intimacy.

Benefits of Early Engagement

Many couples find that going to therapy early, before major crises arise, can be incredibly beneficial. Addressing smaller issues before they escalate can prevent long-term damage and foster healthier communication patterns. This early engagement can lead to a more resilient and fulfilling partnership. 

Growth and Understanding

Couples therapy is not just about fixing problems; it's also about fostering personal growth and deeper understanding between partners. It provides a safe space to explore individual needs, improve their relationship, and develop more effective communication skills. Ultimately, therapy empowers couples to build a stronger, more connected relationship.

Myth 2: “Marriage counselling means we’ve failed.”

Addressing Stigma

There's often a stigma associated with seeking marriage counselling, as if needing help indicates a personal failing. This couldn't be further from the truth. Recognising the need for support is a sign of self-awareness and a commitment to improving the relationship dynamics.

Instead of viewing marriage counselling as a sign of failure, consider it an act of care and effort. It demonstrates a willingness to invest in the relationship and a desire to create a stronger, more fulfilling partnership. 

Existential Therapy Focus

Existential couples therapy offers a unique perspective, focusing on the meaning and purpose within the relationship rather than assigning blame. It explores themes of freedom, responsibility, and authenticity, helping couples to navigate challenges and create a more meaningful connection. The therapist aids one partner and their significant other.

Myth 3: “The therapist will take sides or judge us.”

Neutrality of Therapists

A common myth is that a couple's therapist will inevitably take sides during sessions. However, a skilled couples therapist remains neutral, creating a balanced environment where each partner feels heard and understood. The goal is to facilitate constructive dialogue, not to assign blame or validate one partner over the other. 

Creating a Safe Space

One of the primary goals of couples counselling is to create a safe space where both partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. A competent couples therapist fosters an atmosphere of trust and acceptance, encouraging open and honest communication. 

Dialogue in Existential Therapy

In existential couples therapy, the emphasis is on fostering authentic dialogue rather than imposing pre-determined solutions or diagnoses. The couples therapist helps couples explore their experiences, values, and perspectives, encouraging them to find their own path forward. This approach seeks to improve their relationship and encourages deeper intimacy.

Myth 4: “Therapy will force us to stay together or split up.”

 Clarifying Therapy Goals

Another misconception is that couples therapy aims to force couples to either stay together or break up. In reality, the goal of couples counselling is to provide a space for exploration and clarity, empowering couples to make informed decisions about their future. Many couples find that counselling helps them to better understand each other.

Space for Reflection and Understanding

Couples therapy provides a valuable space for reflection and understanding. It allows each partner to gain insights into their own patterns of behaviour and communication, as well as the dynamics of the relationship as a whole. This deeper understanding can lead to more conscious and fulfilling choices for both individuals.

Making Conscious Choices

Ultimately, the decision of whether to stay together or separate rests solely with the couple. Couples therapy simply provides the tools and support needed to make that decision consciously and thoughtfully. The couple's therapist's role is to facilitate exploration, not to dictate outcomes. Seek help if you need it.

Myth 5: “If we need therapy, something must be wrong with us.”

Therapy vs. Dysfunction

One of the most damaging myths about couples is that needing therapy indicates a fundamental flaw or dysfunction. In reality, seeking help is a sign of strength, resilience, and a commitment to growth. It demonstrates a willingness to invest in the relationship and address challenges head-on to improve their relationship.

Relationship Maintenance

Think of couples therapy as relationship maintenance, similar to how you maintain your physical or mental health. Just as you might go to the gym to stay physically fit or see a therapist to manage stress, couples therapy can help you proactively strengthen your relationship. It's an investment in your relationship to grow.

Just as regular check-ups can prevent serious health issues, couples therapy can help identify and address potential problems before they escalate into major crises. Seeing a couple's therapist is not just for couples in distress; it's for any couple seeking to enhance their connection and build a healthier, more fulfilling partnership. 

What Sets Existential Couples Therapy Apart?

Exploration Over Solutions

Existential couples therapy distinguishes itself by prioritising exploration over immediate solutions. Instead of simply fixing problems, the existential approach encourages couples to delve into the deeper meaning and purpose of their relationship. This means the couples therapist will guide couples to engage with the underlying issues that inform their choices.

Focus on Values and Choice

A central tenet of existential couples therapy is the emphasis on values and choice. Couples are encouraged to examine their core values and how these align (or misalign) within the relationship. By identifying these values, couples can make more conscious and authentic choices about how they want to live together. 

Navigating Life Changes

Existential couples therapy is particularly useful for couples navigating significant life transitions. Whether it's a career change, the arrival of children, or shifting personal identities, existential therapy provides a framework for exploring how these changes impact the relationship. This helps couples adapt and grow together through life’s inevitable shifts. 

How Marriage Counselling Works at Badashian Therapy

A Calm, Non-Blaming Approach

At Badashian Therapy, marriage counselling is grounded in a calm, non-judgemental space where both partners are welcomed equally. Instead of assigning blame or focusing on who's "right," the emphasis is on understanding - what each person is feeling, what matters most to them, and how the relationship can evolve with greater care and honesty. This environment helps couples move from conflict to clarity, with communication that feels safer and more constructive.

Flexible Support: In-Person or Online

To make therapy more accessible, Badashian Therapy offers both in-person sessions in Manchester and online couples therapy across the UK and worldwide. Whether you're navigating busy schedules, living in different locations, or simply prefer the comfort of your own space, online therapy provides a flexible, meaningful way to engage with the process, without compromising depth or connection.

The Therapist’s Role: A Reflective Companion

Rather than taking sides or offering quick fixes, your therapist at Badashian acts as a reflective companion, someone who holds space for both of you and gently guides you through exploration. You'll be supported in uncovering the deeper dynamics of your relationship, understanding one another’s perspectives, and finding your own shared direction. This collaborative, non-directive approach allows each partner to feel heard and valued as you move toward a more connected relationship.

Conclusion: Moving Beyond the Myths

It’s Okay to Question What You’ve Heard

Many people hesitate to begin couples therapy because of outdated ideas or misinformation. But questioning those beliefs is a healthy starting point. Understanding what therapy truly offers - space for exploration, honesty, and reconnection - can help you make an informed choice for your relationship.

Welcoming Uncertainty

Uncertainty is a natural part of any relationship, and it's perfectly acceptable to feel unsure about whether couples therapy is right for you. In fact, uncertainty is welcomed in the therapy room as an opportunity for exploration and discovery. 

An Open Invitation to Start the Conversation

If you're curious about whether couples therapy could support your relationship, we welcome you to reach out. There’s no pressure, just a chance to speak openly, get clarity, and explore if this space might feel right for you and your partner. At Badashian Therapy, we’ll meet you wherever you are.