What to Expect in Your First Counselling Session

Starting therapy can feel daunting, especially if you're attending your first therapy session. It's completely normal to feel unsure or nervous. This article aims to take away some of that uncertainty and reassure you about what to expect in therapy, to help you feel more prepared and comfortable as you begin this journey.

Feeling Unsure Is Completely Normal

Acknowledge Your Nervousness

Most people feel nervous before their first session, and that’s completely normal. Starting therapy is a big step. It involves opening up about things that may feel private, and it’s okay if you don’t yet know what to say. You don’t have to plan or prepare anything. We’ll begin wherever you are. Remember, many people feel the same way before their initial therapy session. It's a new environment with a new person, and uncertainty is understandable.

Normalising Uncertainty
You don’t need to prepare a speech or have everything perfectly figured out before you start therapy. In fact, many people begin therapy without knowing exactly what they want to talk about. The therapeutic relationship is about exploration and discovery. You don’t need to have the "right" words or a clear agenda. The therapist will guide the conversation and help you articulate what's on your mind. Just come as you are.

Therapy is meant to be a supportive and non-judgmental space. A good therapist understands that vulnerability can be difficult, and they are trained to create a safe environment where you can feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and emotions. The initial goal is to help you feel at ease. The therapist may offer reassurance and answer any questions you have, setting the tone for a positive and productive experience.

The Purpose of the First Session

Conversation Over Assessment

The first session is primarily about conversation, not a formal assessment. While the therapist may ask questions to understand your background and what brings you to therapy, the main focus is on establishing a connection and creating a comfortable space for dialogue. It’s an opportunity for you to share your story at your own pace and for the therapist to learn about your experiences and concerns.

Exploring Your Reasons for Therapy
This first session is also a chance to explore what brought you to therapy. What are the challenges you’re facing? What are your hopes for the process? The therapist will listen attentively and help you articulate your reasons for seeking support and validate them too. This initial conversation helps both you and the therapist understand the goals for therapy and tailor the sessions to your specific needs. 

Finding Mutual Fit with Your Therapist
The opening conversation is also an opportunity to determine if the therapist is a good fit for you and vice versa. Therapy is a collaborative process, and it’s essential that you feel comfortable and safe with your therapist or counsellor. Consider whether you feel heard and understood. Do you feel a sense of trust and rapport? If the connection doesn't feel right, it’s perfectly acceptable to explore other options and see a therapist who better suits your needs.

What Happens During the Therapy Session

Flow of Introductions and Discussion

In the initial moments of the first session, introductions set the stage. The therapist may briefly describe their approach to therapy, ensuring you understand the type of therapy they offer. Following this, the discussion opens, guided by what brings you to therapy. There’s no set script; it’s a conversation that unfolds naturally around whatever feels most important to you. 

Guided by Your Needs
Each first therapy session is unique because it's tailored to your individual needs and circumstances. The therapist will listen attentively, allowing you to guide the conversation toward what feels most important. If you're unsure where to begin, that's perfectly fine. The therapist can help you discuss your thoughts and feelings with gentle questions and explorations.

Starting with Curiosity and Honesty
The therapeutic relationship thrives on curiosity and honesty. The therapist approaches the first session with genuine curiosity, seeking to understand your experiences and perspectives. Likewise, your willingness to be honest about your thoughts and feelings is essential for effective therapy. Remember, it's a safe space, free from judgment, where you can explore your inner world and gain valuable insights into your behaviour and emotions. 

Creating Safety and Connection

Understanding Confidentiality

Confidentiality is a cornerstone of the therapeutic relationship. What you share with your therapist or counsellor during your therapy session remains private and protected. This confidentiality allows you to speak openly and honestly without fear of judgment or disclosure. The therapist will explain the boundaries of confidentiality during the first appointment, ensuring you understand the limits of this protection, usually involving risk of harm to yourself or others. 

Collaboration in Therapy
Therapy is not a one-way street; it's a collaborative process between you and the therapist. You are an active participant in your therapy journey, and your insights and perspectives are valued. The therapist is there to guide you, offer support, and provide tools and techniques to help you navigate your challenges. Together, you'll work towards achieving your goals for therapy and improving your mental health and wellbeing. 

Feeling Safe to Express Yourself
Feeling safe and comfortable is key to getting the most from your sessions. It's essential that you feel able to express yourself honestly and openly without fear of judgment or criticism. Your therapist will create a warm, non-judgmental environment where you can explore your thoughts and feelings without reservation. When you feel safe and seen, you're more likely to engage fully in the therapeutic process, which can improve the overall experience and the effectiveness of therapy.

After the Session: How You Might Feel

Reflective Emotions Post-Session
After your first session, it's normal to experience a range of emotions. Some people feel a sense of relief or lightness, while others may feel more reflective or even a little drained. You might find yourself processing the therapy session for hours or even days afterwards. These therapy feelings are all valid and part of the therapeutic process.

Make sure to take the time and space to notice and accept your feelings. Consider journaling your thoughts and feelings or engaging in activities that help you relax and reflect. There's no right or wrong way to process therapy; the most important thing is to find what works best for you. 

Taking Your Time to Decide
There's no pressure to decide immediately whether you want to continue with therapy after the first therapy session. Take your time to consider whether the therapist is a good fit and whether therapy may be beneficial for you. If you're unsure, it's perfectly acceptable to schedule another therapy session to further explore the therapeutic relationship before making a decision.

Taking the First Step to Start Therapy

Acknowledging Your Courage
Starting therapy takes courage. It requires vulnerability and a willingness to confront difficult emotions and experiences. Seeking help from a therapist or counsellor can be a powerful act of self-care. Recognising this as a step to improve your experiences is part of the journey of healing. 

If you're considering therapy and are wondering what to expect in therapy, don't hesitate to reach out. A simple phone call or email can be the first step toward finding the support you need. Many therapists may offer free initial consultations to discuss your needs and answer any questions you have about their approach and the sessions that may follow.

Offering a Safe Space to Talk

I offer a calm, confidential space where you can talk about your thoughts and feelings without judgment. My goal is to create a therapeutic relationship where you feel safe, seen, and heard. Together, we can explore what’s happening in your life and what it might mean for you. You’re very welcome to get in touch, and we can see if I am a good fit for you.